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Preserve the Ties That Energize

Thanksgiving Storytelling Family Tradition

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

“ …and that’s true love!” said my grandpa… his voice made my mind conjure up the entire scene: I see it as if it were real, mom serving dessert after a big Italian-American feast for Thanksgiving Day, always prepared with love by my parents in what I believed to be our beautiful New Jersey home. But the fact is, it was only my grandfather’s voice coming from an audio cassette player. A tape I nearly tossed in the trash moments before to clear the clutter from my garage. So glad I have this priceless treasure today.

Through “imagining” you mentally “see.” Your brain takes the audio input of a voice and provides you a “mental picture”. In this case, it pulled out a memory of the past and my brain served up a scene so vivid you relive it as if it were happening in the present. My grandfather’s philosophy about true love were his words of wisdom I’ll treasure forever.

Your brain can also take an idea or visualization to create a future-self. Your brain can be directed using mental imagery which is really a kind of storytelling.

When you add the auditory aspect, such as a voice, you add a person’s energy because your voice is the blueprint of your soul. Listening to the sound of your own voice is a powerful way to imprint and direct your subconscious mind.

Add the background music and the brain automatically enhances the imagery experience as if it were real. The mind makes no distinction between real and imagined information; this is why using guided imagery narrations for relaxation are a powerful form of mind/body medicine. Scientists are learning how we manipulate and examine pictures of the mind and develop internal states of awareness, resilience and balance.

Many world cultures have been using the power of mental imagery in the form of storytelling. Let’s look at the Native American culture specifically, they have been using the art of telling stories passed down from one generation to the next as their primary form of wisdom communication. Traditionally, Native Americans transmit by story their mythology, spiritual and historical understandings of themselves and the world in which they live to their children.

Storytelling creates the mental imagery in the minds and hearts of the young, that which elders did not want forgotten. In this way, the elders ensured young would not lose sight of their roots, important knowledge that would allow them to live in harmony and cooperation with the natural world.


So this Thanksgiving why not try to capture more voices of the elders in your tribe, the seniors in your family. Allow them to pass on their words of wisdom to the children as part of the formal celebration for which we are giving thanks and deep appreciation. In this way, you can be sure your children and their children have your family’s important knowledge through the beautiful storytelling tradition.

7 Keys to Cultivate Storytelling Family Tradition

1.Give your children and their children a beautiful way to honor their elders by asking questions about their roots, heritage, country of origin and the ways of their people.

2.Use a recording devise to capture and remember forever, the voices of the senior family members and their words of wisdom.

3.Make the bedtime ritual include recounting meaningful memories you made this Thanksgiving holiday (holy day).

4.Create a work of art. Draw, paint, sing a song or dance your newly realized wisdom tradition.

5. Each year collect keepsake photos, images and quotes in a box or a book.

6.Ask your child to express the kind of person they want to become; share the vision of a world they want to see and live in.

7.Have your child record their own voice to express their visions. Speak about appreciation, love and peace. Play this recording before sleep so  the subconscious mind can bring good thoughts to every cell in your child’s body.

SPECIAL OFFER: Head on over to for your free sample Guided Imagery Relaxation Journey

Kissing Joy: How To Build A Flexible Attitude

Kissing Joy

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Have you ever noticed the way a humming bird darts from one flower to the next, barely staying long enough for you to observe this little creature? Seems the humming

bird has mastered the art of kissing joy; it is the practice of the light touch. As it navigates its world, the hummingbird is touching but not holding onto the sweetness or the non-sweetness of life

In my work helping anxious children help themselves calm down, I find it is their

perception of the event in their lives that causes most distress. They are not realizing

they are the ones who assign meaning to all events. Heres an example: Katie explains, this bad thing happened at schooleveryone keeps looking at me and saying I look sad, am I ok?

The essential ingredient for tapping into our inner resources is to understand we always

have a choice about how we label the events. Our own mind can heal or hurt us; awareness is the path to manage our ocean of emotion. Awareness is being present without labeling, criticizing, or judging.

The most common reaction to the good things that happen in life is to try to hold on,

hold on tighter, making every effort to have that good stay and wall out the bad stuff.

Try as we may, we dont want anything bad to happen to us; whatever badis! And-

if that bad thing does happen, well say: This is a very bad, horrible, terrible thing!

Rather than, suspending judgement and saying to yourself: This is interesting…could be bad, could be good.

In the teaching tale, Zen Shorts: The Farmers Luck, the story reveals the assumptions

of what the neighbors call bad luckor good luckturns out to be the opposite. Through various experiences, the farmer resists the temptation to agree with his neighborsopinions. For example, his son falls off a horse and breaks his leg, everyone says, thats too bad, bad luck! But, in fact, a few days later when the soldiers come to their village to take able-bodied young men off to war, his son is passed over because he has a broken leg!

Can we be both present to the experiences of our lives while, at the same time, being non-judgmental, accepting and curious?

Can we learn to see them, be with the experience without trying to push it away? Can we allow ourselves to feel difficult feelings, rest in it and be?

And if it is a happy, welcomed event, can you learn that kissing joyas she flies by is a wonderful way to play with your imagination, tapping your inner resources in order to be present, notice, enjoy it but not become attached to it? Kiss it and let it go.

And then can you practice, with this same awareness, to be present and notice when something seems awful? Can you practice watching your feelings of sadness without getting lost in them?

Like gathering, collecting all life experiences, noticing the contrast like the many shades of green in nature’s landscape?

Say to yourself: As I use all my senses to take note and savor,

I am present and open to all the feelings in my life.

The practice of kissing joyis an opportunity to become aware of how you can direct your mind to focus- without judging, without making a strong, negative opinion; but rather, just noticing and collecting.

Making a collecting basket, is a tangible way to practice this idea and internalize it for yourself and your child. Say to yourself, Today, as I am filling my basket with the little things in lifegood or bad, happy or sad. I am noticing and collecting with awareness, gentleness and gratitude.

So fill your basket, as you expand your awareness.

Say to yourself; Im feeling the warm breeze on my face or

Im hearing a song that makes me cry

Imagine putting it all in your basket for the day.

Throughout your day, you may want to place in your basket objects like a special photograph or the penny you found on the ground.

At the end of your day, the contents can be taken out and reflected upon as a form of

awareness practice. Be gentle with yourself.

Then you can begin all over again the next day. Empty out the contents; let go of the previous day to make room for the new, the now, of today.

As in the ancient mediative tradition, keep your basket empty. When you do, it becomes a practice of taking in, breathing, watching, and recognizing the every day passing events–likekissing joy lightly, not tightly!

As joy flies by as youre on your way

Give it a kiss and go on with your day.

Embrace the fullness of all that you feel

Welcoming everything-keep even your keel!

Wisdom runs deepest, your open heart knows

To gather the highs, as well as the lows

Kissing joyinstead of holding too tight

Offers the lesson: theres no wrong, no right.

How To Make A
Kissing Joy Cornucopia

As I gather, reflect and release the bits and pieces of my day

I feel peace, kiss joy and gratitude experienced on my way!”

  1. Take this sheet of paper and decorate the blank side on back (or both sides if you wish) with crayons, markers or anything else that make it special and unique to you.

  1. Start at the bottom right corner of this page (with the text side facing up) and begin rolling the sheet on a diagonal from bottom right to top left.

  1. As you roll the paper and the top fans out into an open cone, keep the left bottom corner of the page in a tight point.

  1. Secure the long outside edge of the paper with tape.

  1. Use the cornucopia as a holder of daily things for which you want to be mindful and give thanks. You can place actual objects such as a a shell, acorn, leaf, or coin as well as pieces of paper on which are drawn or written personal experiences such as “walking through crunchy leaves on a sunny autumn day”, or “discovering a new ice cream flavor because the store was out of my usual favorite”. The idea is to take notice of gifts and opportunities in the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows, the rain and the rainbow.

  1. Once collected, take time at the end of your day to look at your cornucopia and its contents and reflect back on the simple things that reveal themselves to us each and every ordinary day and the blessings they hold. Each day gives us new opportunities to discover and explore joy.

Why Teaching “Thoughtmanship” is important as Penmanship

“As the school season kicks off, Dr. Roxie reminds us that just as we would
teach our children the art of penmanship, first letters then words and

we must also teach our children the art of “thoughtmanship.”

Before you speak, think about your message- whether it is self-talk or

to others, be deliberate with your thoughts and words. Because your
thoughts are carried by your words. And your words generate the energy of
your intention. Your energy can be felt, it goes in front of you when
entering a room.

Dr. Roxie’s guided imagery relaxation audios teach you and your child how
to foster powerful “thoughtmanship”- here’s a sample Mp3 perfect for
broadcasting. She uses metaphors, music, nature sounds and children’s
laughter as well as her own soothing voice to guide the listener with
rhythm and rhyme to imagine.

“…you can do it, you can make a pearl from a grain of sand in the magic
of now all things are possible, in the magic of the moment in this one and
this one too… you can turn your pesky thoughts around and create
something new. You can make a difference, you can make yourself feel
better…Love yourself, believe you


Dr. Roxie is available to discuss more mind/body strategies from her
upcoming book for you and your child, *Energy Blueprint of Health Integrity*

Visit: for FREE Gift

How to Calm Down an Out of Control Child

How to Calm Down an Out of Control Child
When your child acts out do you say, “Go to your room and relax” only to find a few minutes later that your child is jumping on the bed or throwing things? Dr. Roxanne, a renowned clinician, leader, and pioneer in health psychology, has solutions for parents to help transform their children from out of control and inconsolable to calm. Learn how moving your energy is essential to transforming your child’s behavior. According to mind/body research, both positive and negative life events create symptoms of stress. Fortunately, there is a powerful form of mind/body medicine helping children and adults alike; harness your inner energies and learn to wield and direct them! Call for a free private telephone consultation.

Become a Human Sparkler

Become a human sparkler
Ignite your life with love!
Inspire yourself and those around you.
For more tips and tools visit:

Reduce Anxiety and Create Calm for You and Your Child

Best Way To Reduce Anxiety
Open Your Child’s Mind to Healing Power Within
Instead of a Pill, Try This Approach When Your Child is Ill
By Dr. Roxanne Daleo
Often, when people feel very stressed, they say “This situation is taking years off my life!”
Today, there is scientific proof, that this is true.
When I worked as a Research Assistant in the Harvard Department of Behavioral Medicine, Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, reported telomere shortening due to stress.
“Telomeres are the repeat DNA subunits at the end of our chromosomes,” says Kabat-Zinn. “They are involved in cell division, and how rapidly they are degraded appears to be tied to the rate at which we age biologically. With these findings, stress reduction has become an important vehicle for helping people re-establish balance and well-being.”
When you teach your child to take hold of their condition, whether physical discomfort such as a headache or stomachache, or emotional discomfort, whatever is their perception of “dissatisfaction”, they take hold of the healing power within.
Using the approach “Your Wise Body/Mind Effect” can show them a way out of their pain. It will help them to shift from fighting the pain to having a curiosity to investigate pain/discomfort as if it was an object to explore.
When using this approach, you will learn how to reduce your stress, leading you and your child to more freedom from suffering.
This approach will enhance harmony within you because you will have a new-found ability to greet all life experiences ~ whether negative or positive ~ with comfort and ease.
We are learning the practice of kindness and caring for ourselves in a new way. So, instead of a pill, try this when your child is ill.
Next time your child tells you he has a sore throat, stomachache or headache ~ do this.
Instead of immediately announcing to your child that you’ll give them an aspirin or
stomach medicine, say: “You have within your own body a smart doctor; did you know that? Yes, you do! And when you sit with me for a moment, you can make a difference in how you are feeling by turning your attention away from the room and bring your attention inward to your breathing. Now breathe with me and imagine sending the breath to that part of your body that is feeling sore or tense or tight. Breathe right into that place. Imagine you are taking a deep breath and blowing out candles on your birthday cake ~ breathe in deeply blow out completely. When you breath out, there is a little switch in your brain that is in charge of relaxation and when you calm your body, you reduce the aching or soreness. Now, you can ask your doctor within you, what you need that will help you. Now, listen for a response.”
Wait for a minute or two as you and your child “pause and reflect” together.
If appropriate, have your child take a sip from a glass of water and say: “Pay attention to the sensations of the water in your mouth as it moves over the tongue and down the throat.”
Ask him to imagine drinking the water in slow motion so he can feel the refreshment and then imagine the water like a stream or waterfall washing away anything that may be painful or upsetting to him.
Another idea for using the glass of water is to have your child imagine it as a pure, powerful drink. As he takes another sip, ask your child to feel the calm moving into his body, down into the stomach, calming the jitters and feeling peace.
Of course, you can still give your child a remedy, like a cough drop, but take this first step to introduce your child to his own innate abilities.
When you “pause and reflect” in this way, you can teach your child a powerful set of skills. First, he is learning how to redirect and focus his attention on himself and secondly, by being in a sense of curiosity and wonder, will investigate for himself the actual nature of the discomfort.
He is learning how to “relate” to the pain rather than “push it away”.
Add a conversation with yourself, with your body like: “Ok, body! ~ you have my attention ~
I am sending you messages of relaxation, so you feel relief. I’m breathing into you to break up the pain.”
When you do this, you can get unstuck!
Using guided imagery is also a powerful form of mind/body medicine helping children with conditions from anxiety to illness.
This is how we open the mind to a new way of thinking and behaving. We can “try on” the
new thought rather than feel pressure to immediately accept it.
In other words, we can reflect on it.
When we get caught up in worry and dissatisfaction, the mind becomes more emotional and loses balance. Yet, the experience of dissatisfaction and suffering is curable through a shift in perception, a shift in awareness.
Say to yourself: “This could be a better way or maybe later or maybe never.” When you say this, do you feel the space in this kind of consideration?
Here are two other ways you can help your child help himself.
Show your child the following images: a pendulum or metronome swinging to one extreme side then wait for it as it swings to the other or the ocean waves as they crest then as the waves recede.
What’s happening here in these examples? If we wait, wait, wait for it ~ it will change. Just as your body sensations can. Just as your feelings can.
I hope you can try it!
Tell me your child’s story of the mind/body connection.
Contact me to sign up for my on-line program 50% discount “Out of the Blue” to guide your child through the process redirecting attention, reframing stressful situations and learning the power of inner energies for health:

5 Simple Steps That Helps Anxiety Naturally

“ To tack a boat, to sail a zig-zag course is not to deny our destiny or our destination-
despite how it may appear to those who never dare to take the tiller in their hand.
Just the opposite: it’s to recognize the obstacles that stand between ourselves and
where we want to go and then maneuver with patience and fortitude, making the most
of each leg of our journey until we reach our landfall. “ -Richard Bode

I love sailing! It’s exhilarating; that distinctive salty sea air and water mist on my face, causes me to be alert and wide awake. You never know when the wind will change and you must ready yourself. Like the game of life, we are here for the joy of it and must know how to play it.
When the sails start to luff, you must head into the wind, tighten your angle to move forward. Obstacles are merely challenges so you can use your head to maneuver onward. You learn to welcome the unexpected because the unpredictable offers you novel ways to find solutions to life’s problems. In the process of sailing, you become confident working your magic: building your ability to be clever and use skillful actions to adapt, improve, improvise!
Can your child “roll with the punches” and “go with the flow”?
You don’t need to be in a sailing boat to practice.These are positive, mental attitudes and I can show you how you foster your youngster’s use of inspiration and innovation and how to encourage him to “take off” and “trust”. But first you have to row a little boat- which means, you begin with the self-discipline required for centering yourself, calming yourself no matter what is happening in the world around you or within you.
Here are 5 steps for steady progress:
1. Practice Relaxation
The most important skill we can teach our child is how to calm and settle himself. But you can’t teach what you do not know for yourself. So begin by taking back the afternoon and just rest together. Turn off cell phones, put away mobile devices and turn on your child’s smiles. Sit together on a back yard swing, relax in a hammock or just flop on the sofa long enough to quiet your nervous system by breathing rhythmically. Four counts, breathe in; six counts breathe out
2. Stay Present
Bring your attention to the present moment. In this moment all is well. Feel the peace that is always there which the rush of the day tried to hide. Using a guided imagery audio or music
combined with rhythmic breathing is an effective method for keeping your attention on the present moment. When you develop the capacity to be aware of your mind/body system slowing down, you find your peace. Remember, emotions go to every cell in your body so choose health.
Pay attention to opportunities that present themselves disguised as disappointments, despair or detours. These “problem emotions” give birth to innovation, perseverance and adaptability.
3. Be Patient
Practice holding on to peace rather than becoming impatient or uncomfortable with the slowed
down pace. Sometimes it may feel like you have to move or talk or you’ll jump out of your skin! The more you can become focused, the more you can cultivate the passive attitude
of relaxation and the more you can be gentle with yourself.
4. Welcome the Unexpected
When you welcome the unexpected, you open your mind to the power within you, so you can maneuver yourself forward and not collapse in a heap of discomfort. When you welcome the unexpected, you begin to think more creatively to find solutions rather than stay stuck in old assumptions, such as, this thing happened to me and therefore I should be crushed! When you welcome the unexpected, you practice using your mind in a special manner that make new nerve endings connect causing you to come up with even more possibilities than ever before.
5. Be Determined
Never give up on yourself. Make the most of each leg of your journey until you make your
landfall using your skillful action to adapt, improve and improvise.
Remember this: Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, “Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.”
Do you have an example to share with me? Or a situation you’d like support?

Earth Day Activity


All the flowers of tomorrow are planted in the seeds of today.”

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Today, we need to plant some “seeds of change.” Change for the better! We all have the potential to use our inner vision to see a world we want to live into! Holding an intention of what we want” is empowering.

Ask, “what do I consciously want to create?” The choices we make will determine the quality of life on our planet. Now is the time to decide. Let’s create a new world rather than be diminished by fear.

Mindful seed planting builds self-esteem, creativity and generosity.

Furthermore, selecting seeds for growing herbs that calm you is an additional

measure of body/mind wisdom. For example, camomile and lemon balm make soothing teas,

perfect to drink in the late afternoon or right before bed.

Our minds are like gardens. We can grow either thorny weeds by thinking negative, fearful thoughts or we can grow beautiful, tender flowers.

Here’s a simple, tangible way to encourage yourself and your child to develop health integrity that encompasses all aspects of their being- mind, body, and spirit.

Find an empty egg carton for planting seeds of change. Fill the each egg cup with potting soil. Ask your child to label each row of two cups with a word describing their ideal world such as peaceful, healthy, happy. Water the seeds and place in the sunlight. Watch what happens when the magic of intention is energized!


Guided Imagery for Inner Peace

Many cultures around the world believe the egg is the symbol of new beginnings, fertility, the genesis of gods, the earth and life itself. With the beauty of Spring finally upon us, I thought I might share with you a way to use the tradition of decorating eggs as a symbol of inner peace thus, tapping into and finding the calm within each of us. Here’s how.

Let’s remind our child that the shell is the protective outer covering for the yoke which is inside.

Now, let’s use guided imagery to imagine being in a place that is safe and secure. Tell your child to close his eyes and picture a clear, see through, luminous egg of protection all around him. And just as the yoke rests inside the shell, tell your child: “you have a place to rest that cannot be disturbed, always available to you when you remember your invisible luminous egg of protection all around you. This is your place to find the quiet you, the peaceful you. Breathe a long, deep breath in and out, sit, rest. All is well and so it is.”

Now when you decorate eggs, consider labeling them with the words: peace, calm, quiet me, the me I love! Have fun!

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Free consultation on how to calm down and be happy and healthy.

Self-Esteem – Does Your Child Have It?

And Why Gold Stars, Stickers & Bribes Do Not Work!
By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Do you believe your child will become a leader because she makes straight A’s on her report card? Do you think a shopping spree at the Mall or date at the nail salon spa will improve her self-concept?

These and other questions came to my mind when I recently counseled parents whose 7th grade daughter compelled them to reward her for good grades. They told me each of them told their daughter how proud they were but also decided to award her ten dollars for each A; she earned five out of six subjects.

I ask you, do you think rewards will motivate your child toward such attributes as happiness, pride and self-confidence? How do we cultivate prosocial behavior helping our child develop virtues of kindness, generosity and excellence toward themselves and others? Behaviors that foster the idea: there is value in aiming for the greater good of all concerned as opposed to self-serving, ego-centric behavior? Currently the trend is more toward: “what’s in it for me?” mentality.

Do you notice the more you bribe your child, the more demanding, inflexible and intolerable she gets?

I believe only someone who has a strong sense of self can lead others. A leader knows the greater good of the whole. A leader has clarity and holds that clear vision in front of the group. A leader motivates others to work together as a “unit”, a team, a family. A leader has the ability to redirect the team when necessary in order to stay on course. A leader has qualities of self-confidence, full self-expression and competence. Most important, a leader is capable of balance between esteem and humility.

The reason gold stars, stickers and bribes do not work is because these are based on extrinsic measures to motivate a child rather than motivating intrinsically from an inner drive. Extrinsic rewards depend on outside forces. Parents and teachers rule and hold the standard of conduct rather than intrinsic reward which inspires conduct for its own sake. This gives the individual a feeling of pride because he feels good about himself.

Does your child feel good about herself? How do you know? How do you keep that feeling going as your child meets greater and greater challenges?

To answer these questions, let’s get back to our 7th grader who received ten dollars per “A” on her report card. Don’t you know, she was thrilled! Then the next day, realizing she had a test in French which she only rated a “B” average, she decided to cut class in dance, put in more study time in order to ace her French test.

Am I the only stickler here or can you also see there’s something wrong with this way of thinking? You trade off one bad habit for another when you bribe your child to get an “A” at all costs. In fact, you are creating loss somewhere else. In this case, it’s a lack of respect for the commitment to the dance class and poor time management because of distorted priorities,
judgement is off which leads to dysfunctional behaviors.

Am I being too harsh? I don’t think so, the most powerful learning mechanism is consequences. There is a cause and effect to everything in life. It’s one of the laws of the Universe, called karma. Karma acts like a boomerang. What you put out will come back, so watch your back!

A good way to teach your child this principle is to take your child outdoors to your backyard, throw the boomerang at him and let him see it circle back to the thrower. Now give him a turn. Amazing thing, really. I had a friend who’d go into schools with his “Boomerang Program” to illustrate this very principle; his programs were quite popular.

Doing something for its own sake can be the reward when fostered early in childhood. I remember the story my husband told me about his boyhood family vacation. His father decided to drive cross-country to visit the National Parks of America. Six kids and two adults piled into “Woody,” their station wagon; thrilled to travel for five summer weeks! He described the scene to me: My father would pull into a camp grounds and park the car. Dad never gave orders, he didn’t say a word. My brothers and I appointed ourselves in charge of pitching the tent while my sisters brought out the food, pots and pans and sleeping bags. Everyone seemed clear how they were to contribute to the task at hand and we just did-happily-what had to be done!

Recently I had lunch with a prep school classmate. She described her situation with her son. She and her husband decided to enroll Tyler (not his real name) in private school for fourth grade because he was not being academically challenged in the public school. When they made the switch, Tyler rebelled. One night during the first week of being in his new school, his mother said she heard him sobbing from his bedroom. This distressed her deeply. So she decided to allow him to go back to his old school for a day to visit his buddies and check out for himself what he was missing. To her surprise, Tyler could feel the difference being with his old friends and it wasn’t the same as the year before. He said to his folks, he realized the new school was better for him and more challenging. Basically, Tyler had an inner instinct that helped him figure out for himself that private school was a good place for him. He made the adjustment and thrived there.

Both of these stories illustrate a young person’s intrinsic motivation.

Whatever your religious tradition may be, invoking a spiritual dimension (expressed as “God,” the “divine,” or simply “love” or “caring” or “goodness”) can be a powerful way of helping a child find a deeper appreciation of himself and others. For me, having been raised in the Catholic tradition, this was put in terms of “God” and the divine — but you can adapt this to whatever your own beliefs or traditions are. 

“We all have the extraordinary encoded within us waiting to be released,” says Jean Houston one of the most influential thought leaders of our times.
In some form and in your own way, remind your child that all the energy, all the power, all the wisdom of the Universe is inside you right now, you are made in the likeness of the Creator. Claim your spiritual ID.

I remember being told God is like the ocean, you are a spoonful of that “God-ness” that “goodness.”

The first key to embracing ourselves as divine is through giving. St. Frances said “It is in giving that we receive.” To give: attention, a love note, a smile, a beautiful flower is a gesture of just connecting to the other person to be kind and caring. This is a lesson many kindergarten children learn through the model set by a parent or teacher.

Self-esteem is the awareness of our innate goodness. It is present when a youngster feels good about himself. I foster self-esteem by helping children to see the impact of their kindness or of sharing by bringing their attention to the face of the other child to whom they gave.
I would say, “Johnny, that was very thoughtful of you to give a cookie to Mary. Look at her face, is she smiling? “
Johnny says, Yes!” 
I say, “And how do you think that made her feel? 
Johnny says, “Happy!” 
I say, “And how does it make you feel to know you shared your cookies with her? 
Johnny says, “Good.”
I say, “Yes, you are a caring person.”

1.Catch your child in the act of being caring and sharing and you will get more of that behavior. Slow down the action by deliberately bringing attention of the one who gave, to the expression of joy on the face of the other. This is an emotionally intelligent way of building your child’s self-esteem. Self-concept grows out of the positive and negative experiences in your child’s life; so be on the look out for the positive ones and amplify the influence these experiences have by making sure your child “sees and feels” good about himself in the process.

2 The second key to building self-esteem is found when we model how to take our attention off our own problems and worries and focus, instead, on what we can do for someone else. The simple shift in thinking about “the other” – our brother, our sister, allows the child to lose track of  circumstance and create an act of kindness and caring for its own sake. An act of caring done without any expectation of getting something in return.

3.Prompt your child by having a short conversation about ideas that would help the other member of the family or would offer an expression of joy and love for them. When you take the time to do this, you help your child truly know their own identity and significance.

4.Tell your child about the day or night they were born. Children love to hear about the excitement of their birth. Use storybooks like: “Knots On A Counting Rope” by Bill Martin, Jr. and
“On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman.

  1. Tell you child how you named him and why. This kind of personal information gives your child awareness of his identity and significance. Read this bedtime story: “The Incredible You” written by Wayne Dyer.