Archive for the ‘Blog’ Category

Why Teaching “Thoughtmanship” is important as Penmanship

“As the school season kicks off, Dr. Roxie reminds us that just as we would
teach our children the art of penmanship, first letters then words and

we must also teach our children the art of “thoughtmanship.”

Before you speak, think about your message- whether it is self-talk or

to others, be deliberate with your thoughts and words. Because your
thoughts are carried by your words. And your words generate the energy of
your intention. Your energy can be felt, it goes in front of you when
entering a room.

Dr. Roxie’s guided imagery relaxation audios teach you and your child how
to foster powerful “thoughtmanship”- here’s a sample Mp3 perfect for
broadcasting. She uses metaphors, music, nature sounds and children’s
laughter as well as her own soothing voice to guide the listener with
rhythm and rhyme to imagine.

“…you can do it, you can make a pearl from a grain of sand in the magic
of now all things are possible, in the magic of the moment in this one and
this one too… you can turn your pesky thoughts around and create
something new. You can make a difference, you can make yourself feel
better…Love yourself, believe you


Dr. Roxie is available to discuss more mind/body strategies from her
upcoming book for you and your child, *Energy Blueprint of Health Integrity*

Visit: for FREE Gift

How to Calm Down an Out of Control Child

How to Calm Down an Out of Control Child
When your child acts out do you say, “Go to your room and relax” only to find a few minutes later that your child is jumping on the bed or throwing things? Dr. Roxanne, a renowned clinician, leader, and pioneer in health psychology, has solutions for parents to help transform their children from out of control and inconsolable to calm. Learn how moving your energy is essential to transforming your child’s behavior. According to mind/body research, both positive and negative life events create symptoms of stress. Fortunately, there is a powerful form of mind/body medicine helping children and adults alike; harness your inner energies and learn to wield and direct them! Call for a free private telephone consultation.

Become a Human Sparkler

Become a human sparkler
Ignite your life with love!
Inspire yourself and those around you.
For more tips and tools visit:

Reduce Anxiety and Create Calm for You and Your Child

Best Way To Reduce Anxiety
Open Your Child’s Mind to Healing Power Within
Instead of a Pill, Try This Approach When Your Child is Ill
By Dr. Roxanne Daleo
Often, when people feel very stressed, they say “This situation is taking years off my life!”
Today, there is scientific proof, that this is true.
When I worked as a Research Assistant in the Harvard Department of Behavioral Medicine, Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, reported telomere shortening due to stress.
“Telomeres are the repeat DNA subunits at the end of our chromosomes,” says Kabat-Zinn. “They are involved in cell division, and how rapidly they are degraded appears to be tied to the rate at which we age biologically. With these findings, stress reduction has become an important vehicle for helping people re-establish balance and well-being.”
When you teach your child to take hold of their condition, whether physical discomfort such as a headache or stomachache, or emotional discomfort, whatever is their perception of “dissatisfaction”, they take hold of the healing power within.
Using the approach “Your Wise Body/Mind Effect” can show them a way out of their pain. It will help them to shift from fighting the pain to having a curiosity to investigate pain/discomfort as if it was an object to explore.
When using this approach, you will learn how to reduce your stress, leading you and your child to more freedom from suffering.
This approach will enhance harmony within you because you will have a new-found ability to greet all life experiences ~ whether negative or positive ~ with comfort and ease.
We are learning the practice of kindness and caring for ourselves in a new way. So, instead of a pill, try this when your child is ill.
Next time your child tells you he has a sore throat, stomachache or headache ~ do this.
Instead of immediately announcing to your child that you’ll give them an aspirin or
stomach medicine, say: “You have within your own body a smart doctor; did you know that? Yes, you do! And when you sit with me for a moment, you can make a difference in how you are feeling by turning your attention away from the room and bring your attention inward to your breathing. Now breathe with me and imagine sending the breath to that part of your body that is feeling sore or tense or tight. Breathe right into that place. Imagine you are taking a deep breath and blowing out candles on your birthday cake ~ breathe in deeply blow out completely. When you breath out, there is a little switch in your brain that is in charge of relaxation and when you calm your body, you reduce the aching or soreness. Now, you can ask your doctor within you, what you need that will help you. Now, listen for a response.”
Wait for a minute or two as you and your child “pause and reflect” together.
If appropriate, have your child take a sip from a glass of water and say: “Pay attention to the sensations of the water in your mouth as it moves over the tongue and down the throat.”
Ask him to imagine drinking the water in slow motion so he can feel the refreshment and then imagine the water like a stream or waterfall washing away anything that may be painful or upsetting to him.
Another idea for using the glass of water is to have your child imagine it as a pure, powerful drink. As he takes another sip, ask your child to feel the calm moving into his body, down into the stomach, calming the jitters and feeling peace.
Of course, you can still give your child a remedy, like a cough drop, but take this first step to introduce your child to his own innate abilities.
When you “pause and reflect” in this way, you can teach your child a powerful set of skills. First, he is learning how to redirect and focus his attention on himself and secondly, by being in a sense of curiosity and wonder, will investigate for himself the actual nature of the discomfort.
He is learning how to “relate” to the pain rather than “push it away”.
Add a conversation with yourself, with your body like: “Ok, body! ~ you have my attention ~
I am sending you messages of relaxation, so you feel relief. I’m breathing into you to break up the pain.”
When you do this, you can get unstuck!
Using guided imagery is also a powerful form of mind/body medicine helping children with conditions from anxiety to illness.
This is how we open the mind to a new way of thinking and behaving. We can “try on” the
new thought rather than feel pressure to immediately accept it.
In other words, we can reflect on it.
When we get caught up in worry and dissatisfaction, the mind becomes more emotional and loses balance. Yet, the experience of dissatisfaction and suffering is curable through a shift in perception, a shift in awareness.
Say to yourself: “This could be a better way or maybe later or maybe never.” When you say this, do you feel the space in this kind of consideration?
Here are two other ways you can help your child help himself.
Show your child the following images: a pendulum or metronome swinging to one extreme side then wait for it as it swings to the other or the ocean waves as they crest then as the waves recede.
What’s happening here in these examples? If we wait, wait, wait for it ~ it will change. Just as your body sensations can. Just as your feelings can.
I hope you can try it!
Tell me your child’s story of the mind/body connection.
Contact me to sign up for my on-line program 50% discount “Out of the Blue” to guide your child through the process redirecting attention, reframing stressful situations and learning the power of inner energies for health:

5 Simple Steps That Helps Anxiety Naturally

“ To tack a boat, to sail a zig-zag course is not to deny our destiny or our destination-
despite how it may appear to those who never dare to take the tiller in their hand.
Just the opposite: it’s to recognize the obstacles that stand between ourselves and
where we want to go and then maneuver with patience and fortitude, making the most
of each leg of our journey until we reach our landfall. “ -Richard Bode

I love sailing! It’s exhilarating; that distinctive salty sea air and water mist on my face, causes me to be alert and wide awake. You never know when the wind will change and you must ready yourself. Like the game of life, we are here for the joy of it and must know how to play it.
When the sails start to luff, you must head into the wind, tighten your angle to move forward. Obstacles are merely challenges so you can use your head to maneuver onward. You learn to welcome the unexpected because the unpredictable offers you novel ways to find solutions to life’s problems. In the process of sailing, you become confident working your magic: building your ability to be clever and use skillful actions to adapt, improve, improvise!
Can your child “roll with the punches” and “go with the flow”?
You don’t need to be in a sailing boat to practice.These are positive, mental attitudes and I can show you how you foster your youngster’s use of inspiration and innovation and how to encourage him to “take off” and “trust”. But first you have to row a little boat- which means, you begin with the self-discipline required for centering yourself, calming yourself no matter what is happening in the world around you or within you.
Here are 5 steps for steady progress:
1. Practice Relaxation
The most important skill we can teach our child is how to calm and settle himself. But you can’t teach what you do not know for yourself. So begin by taking back the afternoon and just rest together. Turn off cell phones, put away mobile devices and turn on your child’s smiles. Sit together on a back yard swing, relax in a hammock or just flop on the sofa long enough to quiet your nervous system by breathing rhythmically. Four counts, breathe in; six counts breathe out
2. Stay Present
Bring your attention to the present moment. In this moment all is well. Feel the peace that is always there which the rush of the day tried to hide. Using a guided imagery audio or music
combined with rhythmic breathing is an effective method for keeping your attention on the present moment. When you develop the capacity to be aware of your mind/body system slowing down, you find your peace. Remember, emotions go to every cell in your body so choose health.
Pay attention to opportunities that present themselves disguised as disappointments, despair or detours. These “problem emotions” give birth to innovation, perseverance and adaptability.
3. Be Patient
Practice holding on to peace rather than becoming impatient or uncomfortable with the slowed
down pace. Sometimes it may feel like you have to move or talk or you’ll jump out of your skin! The more you can become focused, the more you can cultivate the passive attitude
of relaxation and the more you can be gentle with yourself.
4. Welcome the Unexpected
When you welcome the unexpected, you open your mind to the power within you, so you can maneuver yourself forward and not collapse in a heap of discomfort. When you welcome the unexpected, you begin to think more creatively to find solutions rather than stay stuck in old assumptions, such as, this thing happened to me and therefore I should be crushed! When you welcome the unexpected, you practice using your mind in a special manner that make new nerve endings connect causing you to come up with even more possibilities than ever before.
5. Be Determined
Never give up on yourself. Make the most of each leg of your journey until you make your
landfall using your skillful action to adapt, improve and improvise.
Remember this: Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, “Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.”
Do you have an example to share with me? Or a situation you’d like support?

Earth Day Activity


All the flowers of tomorrow are planted in the seeds of today.”

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Today, we need to plant some “seeds of change.” Change for the better! We all have the potential to use our inner vision to see a world we want to live into! Holding an intention of what we want” is empowering.

Ask, “what do I consciously want to create?” The choices we make will determine the quality of life on our planet. Now is the time to decide. Let’s create a new world rather than be diminished by fear.

Mindful seed planting builds self-esteem, creativity and generosity.

Furthermore, selecting seeds for growing herbs that calm you is an additional

measure of body/mind wisdom. For example, camomile and lemon balm make soothing teas,

perfect to drink in the late afternoon or right before bed.

Our minds are like gardens. We can grow either thorny weeds by thinking negative, fearful thoughts or we can grow beautiful, tender flowers.

Here’s a simple, tangible way to encourage yourself and your child to develop health integrity that encompasses all aspects of their being- mind, body, and spirit.

Find an empty egg carton for planting seeds of change. Fill the each egg cup with potting soil. Ask your child to label each row of two cups with a word describing their ideal world such as peaceful, healthy, happy. Water the seeds and place in the sunlight. Watch what happens when the magic of intention is energized!


Guided Imagery for Inner Peace

Many cultures around the world believe the egg is the symbol of new beginnings, fertility, the genesis of gods, the earth and life itself. With the beauty of Spring finally upon us, I thought I might share with you a way to use the tradition of decorating eggs as a symbol of inner peace thus, tapping into and finding the calm within each of us. Here’s how.

Let’s remind our child that the shell is the protective outer covering for the yoke which is inside.

Now, let’s use guided imagery to imagine being in a place that is safe and secure. Tell your child to close his eyes and picture a clear, see through, luminous egg of protection all around him. And just as the yoke rests inside the shell, tell your child: “you have a place to rest that cannot be disturbed, always available to you when you remember your invisible luminous egg of protection all around you. This is your place to find the quiet you, the peaceful you. Breathe a long, deep breath in and out, sit, rest. All is well and so it is.”

Now when you decorate eggs, consider labeling them with the words: peace, calm, quiet me, the me I love! Have fun!

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Free consultation on how to calm down and be happy and healthy.

Self-Esteem – Does Your Child Have It?

And Why Gold Stars, Stickers & Bribes Do Not Work!
By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Do you believe your child will become a leader because she makes straight A’s on her report card? Do you think a shopping spree at the Mall or date at the nail salon spa will improve her self-concept?

These and other questions came to my mind when I recently counseled parents whose 7th grade daughter compelled them to reward her for good grades. They told me each of them told their daughter how proud they were but also decided to award her ten dollars for each A; she earned five out of six subjects.

I ask you, do you think rewards will motivate your child toward such attributes as happiness, pride and self-confidence? How do we cultivate prosocial behavior helping our child develop virtues of kindness, generosity and excellence toward themselves and others? Behaviors that foster the idea: there is value in aiming for the greater good of all concerned as opposed to self-serving, ego-centric behavior? Currently the trend is more toward: “what’s in it for me?” mentality.

Do you notice the more you bribe your child, the more demanding, inflexible and intolerable she gets?

I believe only someone who has a strong sense of self can lead others. A leader knows the greater good of the whole. A leader has clarity and holds that clear vision in front of the group. A leader motivates others to work together as a “unit”, a team, a family. A leader has the ability to redirect the team when necessary in order to stay on course. A leader has qualities of self-confidence, full self-expression and competence. Most important, a leader is capable of balance between esteem and humility.

The reason gold stars, stickers and bribes do not work is because these are based on extrinsic measures to motivate a child rather than motivating intrinsically from an inner drive. Extrinsic rewards depend on outside forces. Parents and teachers rule and hold the standard of conduct rather than intrinsic reward which inspires conduct for its own sake. This gives the individual a feeling of pride because he feels good about himself.

Does your child feel good about herself? How do you know? How do you keep that feeling going as your child meets greater and greater challenges?

To answer these questions, let’s get back to our 7th grader who received ten dollars per “A” on her report card. Don’t you know, she was thrilled! Then the next day, realizing she had a test in French which she only rated a “B” average, she decided to cut class in dance, put in more study time in order to ace her French test.

Am I the only stickler here or can you also see there’s something wrong with this way of thinking? You trade off one bad habit for another when you bribe your child to get an “A” at all costs. In fact, you are creating loss somewhere else. In this case, it’s a lack of respect for the commitment to the dance class and poor time management because of distorted priorities,
judgement is off which leads to dysfunctional behaviors.

Am I being too harsh? I don’t think so, the most powerful learning mechanism is consequences. There is a cause and effect to everything in life. It’s one of the laws of the Universe, called karma. Karma acts like a boomerang. What you put out will come back, so watch your back!

A good way to teach your child this principle is to take your child outdoors to your backyard, throw the boomerang at him and let him see it circle back to the thrower. Now give him a turn. Amazing thing, really. I had a friend who’d go into schools with his “Boomerang Program” to illustrate this very principle; his programs were quite popular.

Doing something for its own sake can be the reward when fostered early in childhood. I remember the story my husband told me about his boyhood family vacation. His father decided to drive cross-country to visit the National Parks of America. Six kids and two adults piled into “Woody,” their station wagon; thrilled to travel for five summer weeks! He described the scene to me: My father would pull into a camp grounds and park the car. Dad never gave orders, he didn’t say a word. My brothers and I appointed ourselves in charge of pitching the tent while my sisters brought out the food, pots and pans and sleeping bags. Everyone seemed clear how they were to contribute to the task at hand and we just did-happily-what had to be done!

Recently I had lunch with a prep school classmate. She described her situation with her son. She and her husband decided to enroll Tyler (not his real name) in private school for fourth grade because he was not being academically challenged in the public school. When they made the switch, Tyler rebelled. One night during the first week of being in his new school, his mother said she heard him sobbing from his bedroom. This distressed her deeply. So she decided to allow him to go back to his old school for a day to visit his buddies and check out for himself what he was missing. To her surprise, Tyler could feel the difference being with his old friends and it wasn’t the same as the year before. He said to his folks, he realized the new school was better for him and more challenging. Basically, Tyler had an inner instinct that helped him figure out for himself that private school was a good place for him. He made the adjustment and thrived there.

Both of these stories illustrate a young person’s intrinsic motivation.

Whatever your religious tradition may be, invoking a spiritual dimension (expressed as “God,” the “divine,” or simply “love” or “caring” or “goodness”) can be a powerful way of helping a child find a deeper appreciation of himself and others. For me, having been raised in the Catholic tradition, this was put in terms of “God” and the divine — but you can adapt this to whatever your own beliefs or traditions are. 

“We all have the extraordinary encoded within us waiting to be released,” says Jean Houston one of the most influential thought leaders of our times.
In some form and in your own way, remind your child that all the energy, all the power, all the wisdom of the Universe is inside you right now, you are made in the likeness of the Creator. Claim your spiritual ID.

I remember being told God is like the ocean, you are a spoonful of that “God-ness” that “goodness.”

The first key to embracing ourselves as divine is through giving. St. Frances said “It is in giving that we receive.” To give: attention, a love note, a smile, a beautiful flower is a gesture of just connecting to the other person to be kind and caring. This is a lesson many kindergarten children learn through the model set by a parent or teacher.

Self-esteem is the awareness of our innate goodness. It is present when a youngster feels good about himself. I foster self-esteem by helping children to see the impact of their kindness or of sharing by bringing their attention to the face of the other child to whom they gave.
I would say, “Johnny, that was very thoughtful of you to give a cookie to Mary. Look at her face, is she smiling? “
Johnny says, Yes!” 
I say, “And how do you think that made her feel? 
Johnny says, “Happy!” 
I say, “And how does it make you feel to know you shared your cookies with her? 
Johnny says, “Good.”
I say, “Yes, you are a caring person.”

1.Catch your child in the act of being caring and sharing and you will get more of that behavior. Slow down the action by deliberately bringing attention of the one who gave, to the expression of joy on the face of the other. This is an emotionally intelligent way of building your child’s self-esteem. Self-concept grows out of the positive and negative experiences in your child’s life; so be on the look out for the positive ones and amplify the influence these experiences have by making sure your child “sees and feels” good about himself in the process.

2 The second key to building self-esteem is found when we model how to take our attention off our own problems and worries and focus, instead, on what we can do for someone else. The simple shift in thinking about “the other” – our brother, our sister, allows the child to lose track of  circumstance and create an act of kindness and caring for its own sake. An act of caring done without any expectation of getting something in return.

3.Prompt your child by having a short conversation about ideas that would help the other member of the family or would offer an expression of joy and love for them. When you take the time to do this, you help your child truly know their own identity and significance.

4.Tell your child about the day or night they were born. Children love to hear about the excitement of their birth. Use storybooks like: “Knots On A Counting Rope” by Bill Martin, Jr. and
“On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman.

  1. Tell you child how you named him and why. This kind of personal information gives your child awareness of his identity and significance. Read this bedtime story: “The Incredible You” written by Wayne Dyer.

The Threshold

You are here
and not yet there.
You are Now
and wonder how?

I tell you truly
The reason easy
You are Love
as the old world’s undone
You are the Love
Needed to make a new one.

You are here
And not yet there
Not knowing can bring fear
In the threshold
there is stillness, where you’ll get clear
In the threshold
Patience and courage will appear

Know your gifts
Now, your chance to use them
Make a world of difference
It’s your time to be bold.
Go through the threshold
As the new world unfolds.

A smile is a Gift

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

During this holiday season, let’s focus on simple ways to give of ourselves rather than worry about buying something to give. Try crafting homemade ornaments, baking cookies and best of all helping your child recognize this truth: you are the gift.

Here are some suggestions to share with your child the ways we can express caring. Show them how to give the gift of a smile.

A smile is a gift of love that brings cheer to ourselves and to those who receive it. So give a smile: it’s a feeling good about yourself feeling–you can see it, you can feel.

1. Give Yourself A Smile

Ask your child to smile in the mirror at her/him self. You do it, too. What happens?Your beautiful face seems to brighten up. It gives you a good feeling, doesn’t it?

2. Smile At Someone

Give the smile away by smiling at someone. Notice the look on that person’s face when you give him or her a smile. It makes them smile back at you and makes them feel happy too! The impact factor of a smile is not bound by language or culture.

3. Smile At Nature

Next time to see a beautiful flower or a mighty oak tree hug it and send a smile. Cultivate a shift in awareness by acknowledging our connection with all living things

4.. Send Someone A Smile

Draw a happy face and send it to someone you might not see for the holiday or take a photograph of your child saying “YES!” smiling, write a note and send! Try it using your mind’s eye.

There is a beautiful teaching from A Course in Miracles which says:

When you meet anyone, remember it is a Holy Encounter. As you see him you see yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.

Remind your child to look for the good in others and look for the good within and you will see how a simple smile can light up the world with kindness and goodness.

How did you use your smile as a gift today? Send me a comment at