Carving Your Values In Stone

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Every parent is a child’s first teacher. Every teacher becomes a parent to the child as they learn life’s lessons. And what we learn as children stays with us for a lifetime.

Just as we would teach our children the art of penmanship – first writing the alphabet, then words to write a letter – we must teach our children the arts of thoughtmanship and behaviorship.

“Thoughtmanship” is the art of how to think about thinking. And “behaviorship” is the art of behaving intentionally… and ultimately understanding the ripple effect of everything we think and do.

A “think message” is deliberate. A “think message” is intentional.

Your intention goes before you even enter a room. Intention carries your energy. The energy of what you are thinking and feeling.

The most powerful method of teaching is modeling. When we live our values, we model habits of thinking and behaving.

In this FREE workshop – inspired by “The Keys To Activate Your Child’s Inner Impulse To Choose Wisely” – you’ll have an opportunity to explore the delightful craft of ritual. Creating a simple daily practice through “carving your values in stone” – sharing meanings about “thoughtmanship” and “behaviorship” with your child, so he/she may know and carry on these messages. Bring 8-10 smooth stones found by the seashore or a special woodland and a basket or bowl to hold them.

FREE workshop with Dr. Roxie at 32 Pinnacle Road, Harvard, MA 01451

Saturaday, June 30, 2018

2:00PM-4:00PM Make Your Reservation Today!

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

We all need to know we are connected to every living thing-
the soil, the water, the wind, the sun.

We are the stewards of the EARTH. When we get in touch with
this truth, we discover the power of nature within ourselves..

Let’s send love and appreciation to all that is-
Keep it simple, find a pine cone, feather, sea shell, flower
tie each onto a straight stick using a piece of colored yarn. Now say:

This is the beginning of a new day, the Universe has given me this day to use as I will. In each moment there is power to choose. In each moment I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
I want it to be love, not fear; good not meanness in order that I shall not regret what I have given. This is the beginning of a new day.

Now, place the stick in the ground as a promise to the Earth
to be a mindful steward so other children can walk with Beauty
before them on this planet Earth.

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

1. SLOW DOWN! Remember, your child is watching and modeling you- so BE PEACE and your child will be peaceful too.

2. Draw your child close with all your heart by giving her/him your time and attention.

BE LOVE and your child will be loving-kind.

3. Enjoy the moment– “Stopping By Woods On A Snowing Evening” is a poem by Robert Frost that reminds us to savor the quiet delights of winter. But in every season, we can BE HAPPY. Next time you pick up your child from school, do something joyful and unexpected on the way home–park the car by a snowy wood or waterway and create delightful memories while having a fun snack in the backseat of the car. If you do, your child will express joy too!

Happy New Year, everyone!  Here’s a ritual to renew your body, mind and spirit. It’s simple and

fun. Your child will understand the deeper meaning of this ritual because it is tangible and children love to use their imaginations! This New Year Ritual is best done during the first days and month of each new year.

Step 1. Go around your home open all the windows. (Just briefly if you live in a cold climate.)

Step 2. Open the front door.

Step 3. Stand with your child at the threshold and say: “As I open all the windows and doors to my home, I open the windows and doors to my soul—in comes the new fresh air, in comes the new sunlight and in comes the new energy of love!”

Step 4. Breathe! Take three deep energizing breaths.

Step 5. As you close the front door and windows throughout your home, notice the feeling of freshness in the air. Notice how you are feeling. Did this make you smile? Good!

“We are like stones joined in an arch, bound to collapse… unless we support one another.” Leo Tolstoi

Now that many children received gifts from Santa, some expected some not; I notice the main
concern of parents calling me for advise refer to their child’s bitterness and ungratefulness.
In other cases, it is the sibling rivalry that has emotions at an all time high when you had hoped for holiday contentment.

Let’s demonstrate how we can support each other, starting at home. The remedy I recommend for a child’s self-centeredness is to interrupt their misbehavior by asking your child
questions that activate and cultivate an educated heart. I use in my work the term the “educated heart” as message to foster compassionate action in young people because it is not enough to have intelligent minds, we must also have a pure heart. A pure heart lacks aggressiveness.

In our daily lives we have opportunities to model cooperation and peacemaking rather than
competition and jealousy. Here’s how. Next time you catch wind of your children fighting—
instead of ignoring it to let them work it out, you need to step in and step up into your parental power. A child is not necessary going to learn peacemaking without our input and guidance.
But even the well-meaning parents tell me they do not feel equipped to handle conflict resolution because they were not given strategies in their upbringing.

I realize this more true than ever. If our children are going to have emotional intelligence, we
adults are to be responsible for modeling these skills. So when I suggest we interrupt the misbehavior, instead of letting it go; what I mean is, you have to keep your calm and not get caught in the cross-fire or show favor. Here’s a powerful question to ask your children: “What are you not bringing to this situation? Is it patience, a moment to consider another point of view?”

When I ask: “What are you not bringing to this relationship to make it work?” Most kids know the answer. Taking time to pause and reflect offers your child a chance to act mindfully, rather than act out.

Here’s another strategy: ask your child to see the goodness in others and see the goodness in themselves. Try it and see what happens.

This year for the holiday gift, consider introducing your child to an activity that can keep him going as he grows. Perhaps, he’s mentioned he wants to learn how to play an instrument or draw?

Remember, when a child is engaged in an activity that brings him joy, he will self-start and
develop creativity. It is the feeling of joy that motivates from within. Just the act of doing something he enjoys, cultivates the art of happiness and contentment–without anyone bribing or coaxing.

why today’s kids are more defiant and disinterested in real life

Can you have a happy child over the holidays and also develop family values through social activities, daily rituals, reverence for elders, practice interpersonal skills and have outdoor exercise and immersion in nature? That’s the question!

A tall order, unless YOU step up and take charge of your parental potency and power.

It seems, by the time your child is in first grade, he or she either wants, owns or has access to an iPhone or iPad. Your child already knows about gaming and insists this is all he/she wants for Christmas! If this is you, read on…

Here’s what experts in neuroscience are reporting and warning. Many youngsters are not only preoccupied with video games, but also, get high from blowing up buildings and people; shooting and destroying moving targets on land, sea or sky; and breaking through walls to get to the next level! All this time, your child’s brain is releasing a cascade of neurochemicals, one in particular, dopamine, which is “the brain’s natural pleasure chemical,” making us feel good 🙂

When overstimulated, your child will need higher and higher “fixes” to feel good or he/she will feel bored! Sound familiar? There’s no interest in “normal” family activities because the virtual world has your child’s brain so charged, it’s as if the gaming makes them feel more alive while real life makes them feel uninterested, zoned out and numb!

Remember in my last blog about the power of the mind and the use of guided imagery to cause your body to react as if the thing you are imagining is real? Well, here it is, except, what your child is imaging is addictive (biochemically speaking) negative and unhealthy.

I’d love for you and your child to use the powers of your mind in a positive, health-giving way. The movies in your mind are not real, but you can use your imagination to enhance your life.

If your child is playing video games before school, the pleasure centers are at a high level and the only thing he/she can do is get in trouble which produces an adrenalin rush like the gaming.

If our kids keep getting used to getting pleasure outside of themselves as they grow, they will look for something else that is stronger to give them pleasure.

If we as parents don’t take charge to limit, and more importantly interrupt this addictive behavior, the next step your child will find will be in fixes that produce even more stimulation like drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, excess shopping, over-eating all because the brain’s satisfaction center can never be fulfilled. Yikes!

I don’t care if they’re saying: “all I want for Christmas”…

The best thing you can do for your child is model how to find pleasure by doing things that satisfy you from the inside. Taking time for yourself and your child. Make it your priority.

We all have chronic distractibility, we can’t be present! Unplug yourself and pay attention! Give your child undivided loving time. Sit close, hold hands, give a hug; the brain will also emit those pleasure chemicals when you stoke your child’s back, brush her hair, rub hands or feet while listening to calming music.

Ask questions that motivate: what will you do today to make someone’s day better?

Your children are the world leaders of tomorrow. Ask them to tell you what they like about themselves. What do they know they are good at? Let’s make a plan to enjoy doing them!