The Hole in My Kindergarten Crown:Discovery of Resilience & My Sacred Self

As a little kid, I loved riding, like crazy, my new bike or endlessly exploring my backyard for the tiniest things and building imaginary worlds; I played for hours on my own or with others. But, I want you to know that when I was in kindergarten, I became stressed! Yup!

On the first day of school, all the students received personalized crowns to wear- clever way for teachers to learn our names! Anyway, as the week progressed, our crowns were quickly filled with stars and stickers for good work and behavior!

But this one day, I turned around in my seat to answer a question of the girl behind me and the teacher said, “Roxanne, you come up to my desk right now! You were talking and you know you are not supposed to talk during quiet time. Give me your crown!” She took my crown and punched a hole right next to my name!

I was shocked and shamed! I don’t remember if I cried right then but I know I balled my eyes out when I got home and told my mother all about it. She was outraged and marched right to the principal.

…The next day, my crown was in my cubby, where it always sat each morning as we started the day. A big colorful sticker covering the hole. But I never forgot that underneath-there was a hole in my crown!

Has your child had an incident like this? Children are emotionally impacted by teachers, parents and caregivers. And the key ingredient for resilience is the strong attachment bond with you.

Typically, I hear parents use mobile devices to calm their child. But, no distraction away from the issue will build effective strategies for your child to handle challenging situation constructively.

I can teach you easy to apply mind/body techniques to start strengthening the connection with you and your child in a way that builds these sills in social emotional learning that are necessary for academic success and positive relationships with oneself. (You can download the technique PDF at the bottom of this page.)

My second example of the impact of learning on a child’s self-concept happened in elementary school. I experienced anxiety, particularly learning to read and taking tests. I did not understand why I got so nervous. All I knew was that my brain was blocked and I could not retrieve the answers I needed.

Years later at Harvard Graduate School of Education, my studies about learning and the brain, revealed the reasons. I struggled because the neurochemical pathways were tangled and had to be untangled. The emerging field of psychoneuroimmunology provided evidence based research about the interrelationship between our brains, emotions, nervous system and health.

In short, our emotions effect our thinking and behaving. It’s as if the doorway to learning is closed. And the way to open that door is by eliciting the relaxation response.

The Relaxation Response (RR), is a term coined by Harvard cardiologist, Herbert Benson, MD who noted that not only will the RR completely reverse the stress response by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, respiration and your overall metabolic rate. But it improves concentration and focus, increases recall and the ability to problem solve more creatively.

If you remember in my last email, I reported that one of the keys to managing our emotions is flexible thinking. Practicing relaxation techniques will allow you to open the doorway to your untapped brain potential.

Further more, when a young child or student feels good about him/herself, the doorway to learning stays open. HOW?

Just the simple act of a teacher positively greeting your child by his/her own name each morning as school begins, readies him/her emotionally for learning that day.

This is why it is not how much a teacher can teach your child but how the teacher makes him feel about himself that makes the difference.

What saved me that day I got the hole in my crown was parents who knew how to remind me of my true identity and significance. They offered empathy, stood up for me and most importantly conveyed the sacred self to me everyday.

“You are a beautiful child of God- you are good. You are love and you are loved.”

You cultivate resilience in your child by introducing them to their sacred self.

I tell you my story because this is the reason I am passionate about designing programs and teaching children:

1. to know how calm down and focus

2. to know their true self, the sacred self.

The true self which is Love, Joy and Peace.

SIGN UP for your FREE Download of Mind/Body Relaxation Activities for You & Your Child or VISIT comment or ask me about your challenge.

“I help stressed, anxious children calm down reduce their anxiety with natural methods so they can improve their focus and concentration, do better in school and just be happier overall.”