By Dr. Roxanne Daleo
Do you find it difficult to help your child settled down, especially during the excitement of the holidays. Here are five steps to build self-reliance through awareness.
1.CHANGE YOUR CONVERSATION
Redirect your typical “Good night, go to sleep” conversation to open the mind by inspiring imagination with “Hey, I have a new idea for you to create your dreams. Dreams are movies of your mind. And you can do it right- I can show you how!”
2. BE FULLY PRESENT
Realize the energy you bring to the moment is felt by your child and can either make or break the outcome. This is why you being fully present to your child and not rushing away is critical to the exchange and a positive outcome. The most important knowledge you can give your child is self-knowledge. It is not a subject like Math or Science but “awareness”. Therefore, if you are intentional in being fully present, and you are calm, your child will be calm. You be still for a moment, let your child feel the peacefulness stillness you are holding within yourself. It is a sense of “all is well.” This is the most effective stress-reducer.
3. PROMOTE THE SELF-EMPOWERMENT MINDSET
Promote mastery with your power words, such as, “OK, You’re going to love this!” Your child is more likely to follow your suggestions. Your own belief and attitude will come through your words. Say to your child, “You have the ability to talk to yourself in a powerful way. What you tell yourself is important, it will lead you in that direction that makes you feel good or or it can take you down the drain! So be aware of your self-talk.
Tell yourself you are about to take three deep breaths and as you take the in breathe and the out breath allow yourself to settle down quietly. Allow your heart to become attentive to the sound of the breath. As you breathe in and breathe out slowly, become more aware of your quiet self. As you do, you are going to be more and more focused on creating a dream. And in the dream something will happen that will help you- so stay alert!”
4. USE A TEACHING TALE
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago in a far away place called the Pacific Island of Malaysia, there lived the Senoi tribe. And in this tribe was a family whose child had a hard time sleeping. So the parent told the child “ you have all the power that you could ever need within you-wherever you go and whatever you do, you can change your feelings using your breath.” “ But I’m afraid of falling off the mountain,” said the child.
“Remember, you are the dream maker, you can change the dream at any time. If there is something happening that feels unsettling, all you do is change the picture by telling yourself you are the director. See yourself become aware of your breathing, perhaps your breathing is fast at first but you can slow it down to nice and easy.” So the child took three deep breaths, in and out slowly. “Now, see the scene of falling turn into flying!
Change the frightening falling off a cliff into flying high over the mountains to land safely anywhere you want to go.” The child flew and flew all night until awakening in the morning feeling very good and pleased within.
5. TRANSMIT YOUR ENERGETIC POWER
Transit your positive energy of confidence to your child by saying, “the moment you remember you have the ability to become aware of your breathing (in this moment and this one, too) is the moment you discover another aspect of yourself- it is your inner self.
The feeling of calm is always deep within you. Practice often, just turn your attention away from the day and bring your awareness inward using your your breathing.
BREATHE. “You are a very powerful creator, you can create many fantastic movies that you’ll want to watch for a long time.Try it right now and tell me in the morning!” Your child will pull the bed covers up and soon fall happily and fast asleep.
Search words: anxiety relief, agency, personal power.
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