By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

 

Often, when people feel very stressed, they say “This situation is taking years off my life!”

Today, there is scientific proof, that this is true.

 

When I worked as a Research Assistant in the Harvard Department of Behavioral Medicine, Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, reported telomere shortening due to stress.

“Telomeres are the repeat DNA subunits at the end of our chromosomes,” says Kabat-Zinn. “They are involved in cell division, and how rapidly they are degraded appears to be tied to the rate at which we age biologically. With these findings, stress reduction has become an important vehicle for helping people re-establish balance and well-being.”

When you teach your child to take hold of their condition, whether physical discomfort such as a headache or stomachache, or emotional discomfort, whatever is their perception of “dissatisfaction”, they take hold of the healing power within.

 

Using the approach “Your Wise Body/Mind Effect” can show them a way out of their pain. It will help them to shift from fighting the pain to having a curiosity to investigate pain/discomfort as if it was an object to explore.

When using this approach, you will learn how to reduce your stress, leading you and your child to more freedom from suffering.

 

This approach will enhance harmony within you because you will have a new-found ability to greet all life experiences ~ whether negative or positive ~ with comfort and ease.

We are learning the practice of kindness and caring for ourselves in a new way. So, instead of a pill, try this when your child is ill.

 

Next time your child tells you he has a sore throat, stomachache or headache ~ do this.

Instead of immediately announcing to your child that you’ll give them an aspirin or

stomach medicine, say: “You have within your own body a smart doctor; did you know that? Yes, you do! And when you sit with me for a moment, you can make a difference in how you are feeling by turning your attention away from the room and bring your attention inward to your breathing. Now breathe with me and imagine sending the breath to that part of your body that is feeling sore or tense or tight. Breathe right into that place. Imagine you are taking a deep breath and blowing out candles on your birthday cake ~ breathe in deeply blow out completely. When you breath out, there is a little switch in your brain that is in charge of relaxation and when you calm your body, you reduce the aching or soreness. Now, you can ask your doctor within you, what you need that will help you. Now, listen for a response.”

Wait for a minute or two as you and your child “pause and reflect” together.

 

If appropriate, have your child take a sip from a glass of water and say: “Pay attention to the sensations of the water in your mouth as it moves over the tongue and down the throat.”

Ask him to imagine drinking the water in slow motion so he can feel the refreshment and then imagine the water like a stream or waterfall washing away anything that may be painful or upsetting to him.

Another idea for using the glass of water is to have your child imagine it as a pure, powerful drink. As he takes another sip, ask your child to feel the calm moving into his body, down into the stomach, calming the jitters and feeling peace.

Of course, you can still give your child a remedy, like a cough drop, but take this first step to introduce your child to his own innate abilities.

 

When you “pause and reflect” in this way, you can teach your child a powerful set of skills. First, he is learning how to redirect and focus his attention on himself and secondly, by being in a sense of curiosity and wonder, will investigate for himself the actual nature of the discomfort.

He is learning how to “relate” to the pain rather than “push it away”.

Add a conversation with yourself, with your body like: “Ok, body! ~ you have my attention ~

I am sending you messages of relaxation, so you feel relief. I’m breathing into you to break up the pain.”

When you do this, you can get unstuck!

 

Using guided imagery is also a powerful form of mind/body medicine helping children with conditions from anxiety to illness.

 

This is how we open the mind to a new way of thinking and behaving. We can “try on” the

new thought rather than feel pressure to immediately accept it.

In other words, we can reflect on it.

 

When we get caught up in worry and dissatisfaction, the mind becomes more emotional and loses balance. Yet, the experience of dissatisfaction and suffering is curable through a shift in perception, a shift in awareness.

Say to yourself: “This could be a better way or maybe later or maybe never.” When you say this, do you feel the space in this kind of consideration?

 

Here are two other ways you can help your child help himself.

Show your child the following images: a pendulum or metronome swinging to one extreme side then wait for it as it swings to the other or the ocean waves as they crest then as the waves recede.

What’s happening here in these examples? If we wait, wait, wait for it ~ it will change. Just as your body sensations can. Just as your feelings can.

I hope you can try it!

Tell me your child’s story of the mind/body connection.

Contact me to sign up for my on-line program 50% discount “Out of the Blue” to guide your child through the process redirecting attention, reframing stressful situations and learning the power of inner energies for health: http://drroxannedaleo.com/roxie/contact/