why today’s kids are more defiant and disinterested in real life

Can you have a happy child over the holidays and also develop family values through social activities, daily rituals, reverence for elders, practice interpersonal skills and have outdoor exercise and immersion in nature? That’s the question!

A tall order, unless YOU step up and take charge of your parental potency and power.

It seems, by the time your child is in first grade, he or she either wants, owns or has access to an iPhone or iPad. Your child already knows about gaming and insists this is all he/she wants for Christmas! If this is you, read on…

Here’s what experts in neuroscience are reporting and warning. Many youngsters are not only preoccupied with video games, but also, get high from blowing up buildings and people; shooting and destroying moving targets on land, sea or sky; and breaking through walls to get to the next level! All this time, your child’s brain is releasing a cascade of neurochemicals, one in particular, dopamine, which is “the brain’s natural pleasure chemical,” making us feel good 🙂

When overstimulated, your child will need higher and higher “fixes” to feel good or he/she will feel bored! Sound familiar? There’s no interest in “normal” family activities because the virtual world has your child’s brain so charged, it’s as if the gaming makes them feel more alive while real life makes them feel uninterested, zoned out and numb!

Remember in my last blog about the power of the mind and the use of guided imagery to cause your body to react as if the thing you are imagining is real? Well, here it is, except, what your child is imaging is addictive (biochemically speaking) negative and unhealthy.

I’d love for you and your child to use the powers of your mind in a positive, health-giving way. The movies in your mind are not real, but you can use your imagination to enhance your life.

If your child is playing video games before school, the pleasure centers are at a high level and the only thing he/she can do is get in trouble which produces an adrenalin rush like the gaming.

If our kids keep getting used to getting pleasure outside of themselves as they grow, they will look for something else that is stronger to give them pleasure.

If we as parents don’t take charge to limit, and more importantly interrupt this addictive behavior, the next step your child will find will be in fixes that produce even more stimulation like drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, excess shopping, over-eating all because the brain’s satisfaction center can never be fulfilled. Yikes!

I don’t care if they’re saying: “all I want for Christmas”…

The best thing you can do for your child is model how to find pleasure by doing things that satisfy you from the inside. Taking time for yourself and your child. Make it your priority.

We all have chronic distractibility, we can’t be present! Unplug yourself and pay attention! Give your child undivided loving time. Sit close, hold hands, give a hug; the brain will also emit those pleasure chemicals when you stoke your child’s back, brush her hair, rub hands or feet while listening to calming music.

Ask questions that motivate: what will you do today to make someone’s day better?

Your children are the world leaders of tomorrow. Ask them to tell you what they like about themselves. What do they know they are good at? Let’s make a plan to enjoy doing them!