As we sat down to dinner, I asked, “Would anyone like to say grace?” Surprisingly,
Joe, eight years old, excitedly volunteered, “I will!!” to which I said, “OK, go ahead,
then.” He stood up at the table and raised his voice, “Grace! Thank you for this meal!
Thank you for my family and our new neighbors who just moved in next door. We are so
happy to meet and have this great feast together and eat all this good food and
dessert!”
What a terrific declaration! I never would have imagined this expression but as Joe
genuinely committed to the task at hand, no one corrected him. We smiled and
accepted his offering before the meal.
Do you have a sacred ritual of giving thanks before meals?
When I was a child, every night before dinner, my Dad said a prayer. His personal
reverence for the sacred and divine came through him as he blessed the meal and
gave a word of thanks for the food and to mom for her wonderful cooking and for us
as his family.

Here are five reasons you can consider why I think it is important:

    1. You model for your family your values. Whether it is for the farmer or for God,
        whether a serious prayer or a joyful song, you are pausing, reflecting and
        acknowledging your bountiful blessings.

2. You are allowing your child to know their own importance and significance as a
   member of the family. You are creating meaning to your life and the lives of your
   family.
3. You are cultivating the spiritual nature of the child. Your child intuitively has
   awareness of the sacred, the gesture of grace brings to life your commitment
   to being the presence of Love and having that love for the sacred come through
   with your words and actions. Your child feels your emotions and intentions.
4. You set the stage for your child to keep the channels open and commune with
   God in their own way, perhaps, talking to the tress while in the backyard, or
   playing with tidal pool animals at the ocean. It can happen anywhere but especially
   poignant in the natural world around them.
5. You can start by lighting a candle at the dinner table or ringing a bell before you
   say a word. This symbolic gesture will cue everyone, it is time to pause for praise
   and thanksgiving. Everyday!

My life’s work is to help as many families as possible to get in touch with natural healing

from within. I want you to know and trust that your body has the ability
to know when it is injured or damaged. This is good news. It means you are not
to be anxious or afraid should you get sick or hurt because your body can regenerate
cells and tissues to reestablish equilibrium.

It’s a matter of how we “attend.” Attention is how our world comes into being. So paying
attention to the warning signs from our body, mind and spirit is key to survival and inner
balance. And when we set up the proper conditions, such as deep rest, nourishing
foods, fresh air and sunshine, our body regains strength to adapt, grow and heal.

I’d like to share with you optimal ways of tuning into your body/mind/spirit and know the
ways of wisdom on all three levels. My reputation helping people do this started with my
work supporting terminally ill children and now I help folks like you who are having
challenges with anxieties of all kinds.

For over twenty years of deep study and experience, I’ve been developing ways to help
young people feel better, more confident, focused and happy. This process of helping
others led me to help myself increase my knowledge about a wide variety of healing
methods from cultures around the world.

Who you are matters. How you feel about yourself matters. And my life work has shown
that those of you who really put an effort into understanding yourself more
deeply, can bring about profound improvements in your health and mental health.

As we evolve our consciousness and shift into a new world, the knowledge of self,
nature of mind and power of inner energies are the keys to humans flourishing.
Now, let’s go outside and plant those seeds of change in our own backyard or
on the window sill!

The 5 Keys To Activate Your Silent Power

By Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Breathing is natural. It’s given to you the day you’re born. Without breath, you have no life. 

But with breath, you have power! Everyone on the planet is given this gift. It’s yours… it’s the gift of life.

You’re breathing all the time, and yet you can forget that you are breathing. You can go through your day without awareness of breath – without awareness of your power. This is the gift, that your breath is a tool. 

Discover how to use your gift, and you’ll know your self. When you know your self, you’ll know your power; a silent power.

You have the ability to use your breath with intention. Using the Breath of Intention changes everything. Let me explain…

I once heard a story of a sea captain who sailed around the world using just his breath to fill his sails.  

If you have no breath, you cannot sail. If you cannot sail, you cannot move forward.  If you want to go anywhere, breathe… breathe deep to give wind to your sails.

Like the sea captain, breathe into your sails with all your might. Breathe with all your intention. Breathe with all your desire, passion and determination. You do this by holding within your mind and heart the picture of where you want to go.

You see? You’re creating all the time, whether you know it or not. So why not create intentionally? Why not use the power of intention, the breath of intention?

When you have no intention, it’s as if you’re lost. Like filling the sails of your boat, but your boat has no rudder, no way to navigate the seas. The rudder is what the captain uses to steer his boat. The rudder determines which direction your boat will sail. Do you understand? Lost intention is like going through your day – your life journey – without anything to give you direction.

Without a rudder, you will only flutter-

Without a sail, you’d surely fail.

With the two together: vision and desire, you can harness the wind and have direction. 

You have the ability to create. You were born with it. So use your Breath of Intention – it’s natural; it’s your nature.

Unless you have a want – a desire – you cannot move forward. Although your desire is invisible, it has energy. Your thinking is the invisible force that fills the sails and moves your boat forward. Your thinking is powerful so pay attention to what you desire. Imagine it happening and the “feeling good” feeling of that desire. The joy of your heart uplifts your spirit. And when you picture your vision it pushes you forward. Remember, you are the creator, like the wind filling the sails in a boat, you are creating the force forward with your breath of intention. 

To activate and energize your desire, use your Breath of Intention. You do this by holding the vision of what you desire as if you already have it. Feeling the happy feeling of having that vision NOW.

Your breath is constant; it’s a gift. Grab hold of it! Too many people lose focus.  Know that you can choose differently – it’s all in the rudder. You decide where you want to go. So ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I truly want?” 

Remember: Breath is life, and what you decide to do with your life is up to you. No one can breathe for you! Remember: Treasures are hidden. But if you look deep enough, you’ll always find a treasure. Just be willing to look; be willing to try. 

Five Keys to Activate Your Silent Power 

Become aware.   Without awareness of your inner power and your breath of intention, you can blow as hard as you like, but you’ll only blow yourself in circles. Without a rudder, you go no where fast! 

Make an Intention. Make a decision to focus on what you intend to do. Is it exercise more, eat less, paint a picture, create a sculpture, build something?

Perhaps, it is that you want to have the best “feeling good” feeling you can?

Become Fearless. Fear and doubt cancel out the breath of intention. Fear puts holes in your sails! Fear and intention can’t be mixed. If you hold onto your intention, you can access your power. And that intention, that power, has energy to activate your desire.

Become Responsible. Take responsibility for knowing the truth. This gives your vision life. You can hoist your sails and decide what you want. Breathe life into the sails of your intention. 

Become A Creator. Someone who knows what they want and will use their gift.

Breathe life into your intention by feeling what it will feel like to be where you want to be. Feel the energy of intention. You activate intention with desire

and commitment to never give up on yourself.  When you activate commitment, you create more breath, more energy, more power. Then, this silent power in you gives you the feeling as if that which you intend is already done. 

The New Year is a good time to begin to make a promise to yourself about what is to come, about the possibilities. It’s like writing a new chapter in your book of life. Dream big, drop into your heart and let your imagination open to the power within you. I invite you to create your own poems, drawings, dance or song to bring your dream t0 life.

I am a New Year.

I am a clean page in my book of life.

I am my next chance at the art of being love.

I am an opportunity.

I am original.

I am open to receive grace.

I am all that I dream.

I am all I believe.

I am the spirit of purpose.

I am the song of power – joy, joy, joy.

I am all the goodness and determination

I can will awaken and energize with my heart’s desire on this and each new day.

I am the spark of the Divine.

— Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Charlie, tell me about God and the angels,” said six-year-old Lea to her newborn

brother. “I want to remember!”

My work with gravely ill children has been humbling. It’s opened my heart to the

absolute probability of life after life. I’ve become alert to the ways children can teach me

about faith, love and their own understanding of God.

I am convinced many children “come in with a deep knowing.” Sometimes I’ve seen it in

their innocent exchanges, overheard during play therapy. Sometimes it shines through

their artwork.

And sometimes I see it in the resolute way they ask me to deliver messages to their

parents. Messages far too mature, insightful and profound for their age. Such “deep

knowing” is inexplicable, yet undeniable.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your children about God and heaven. You might be surprised at

the wisdom that comes from the mouth of babes.

Boston Children’s Hospital article in Children’s Today:

Thirty Years Later-Happy Anniversary

by Dr. Roxanne Daleo

“Hi, Dr. Roxanne?” the voice on the phone said. “This is Chris…Christine Berl.”

“Chris!” I exclaimed. I flashed back to the first time I met her. It had been many
years, yet I could see her vividly in my mind; a sweet, fragile girl clinging to hope by
a thread.

“Can you believe it?” she asked. “This year will be my 30th anniversary since my
bone marrow transplant!”

Christine was just 13 years old when she came to Boston Children’s Hospital, where I
worked as a Child Life Specialist. She knew she faced a serious challenge with
months – maybe years – of recovery.

If Christine survived, she’d be a medical miracle. My job was to help her deal with
the pain, the stress and the emotional roller coaster she was about to ride.

Those were tough months, but Christine had a strong will and love of life, she had an
unshakable confidence in her doctor. Plus the loving support of her family who held the same belief that she held for herself.

And here we were, 30 years later. I was on the phone with the miracle I’d prayed for. Christine shared with me some of the thoughts her 13-year-old self couldn’t.

First of all, after I was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia and given 3 to 6 months to live, I immediately told myself, “I cannot die.” I never saw myself dying. I always believed I would survive.

Then, when Roxanne – light, laughter, paint, joy and roses – came into my life, I was given an enormous gift of being taught how to visualize and breathe as a way to deal with the pain. I also needed a way to cope with being confined to the tiny room, while dealing with all the other difficulties associated with undergoing the bone-marrow transplant.

Christine illustrates our potential within to awaken our inner energies. With mind/body strategies (self-regulation, meditation and guided imagery, etc.) we can access our inner self- our greatest source of healing.

I met Christine in 1982, when I was assigned to her as Child Life Specialist. I was still a doctoral student back then and research assistant to mind/body medicine pioneer Dr. Joan Borysenko. My mentors were noted Harvard cardiologist, Herbert Benson, MD, author of The Relaxation Response, and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the UMass Mindfulness-Based Pain Reduction Program. I was implementing the techniques and groundbreaking research in psychoneuroimmunology which had direct relevance to the treatment and outcomes of the children in my care.

Opening children’s minds to the power within them became my guiding principle. Using the art of meditation under Dr. Benson’s guidance, I realized how important imagination is in relaxation therapy. He was using the language of imagination for adults and I adapted his principles to the language of imagination for children.

Psychoneuroimmunology explores the effect of emotions, thoughts, mental images and beliefs on immune function- to either inhibit or promote healing.
The research showed that we reach a powerful “choice point” in the midst of a medical crisis. It’s not so much about the disease itself, as about our response to it. As we spoke on the phone, she shared the image that she clung to all those years ago.

I am healthy – I look like myself again but even better – I have all my hair, I am happy and laughing. I am at the ocean, walking on a beautiful, white-sand beach. Then I see myself swimming in warm water. I swim underwater for a long time, but don’t run out of breath. After a while, when I am ready, I come up to the surface of the water and breathe in the salt air and peacefully look up at the sun and think, “Thank you, God, for saving my life, and letting me swim and be in the sun again.” My healthy new body feels light and relaxed as I glide through the water.

I had no idea, until now, 30 years later, how much I used this image to help me cope. I thought about it all the time. It was the one thing that brought me comfort in the midst of all the physical suffering.

Christine’s experience shows how our thoughts affect our emotions and our health. This approach was unusual then. But current practices in behavioral medicine take into account our beliefs for the prevention and treatment of disease.

Albert Schwitzer, MD taught his medical students: “There is a doctor inside each patient, they come to us not knowing this truth, we are at our best when we give the doctor within a chance to go to work.”

Deep healing is a conscious activity. Video gaming and distraction tactics for children do not effect the healing process in the manner of skills in conscious relaxation such as guided imagery. These life skills are necessary to access the inner most self-our greatest source of healing.

No one in the medical world expected Chris to live more than a few months. But she went on to finish high school, attend college and earn a teaching certificate and – perhaps most remarkable of all – to give birth to three beautiful children. Her success is a testament to the dedication of her doctor and the Boston Children’s Hospital staff, and to the power she accessed within her own beautiful self.

Managing Stress and Grief
in Children
by Dr. Roxanne Daleo

Managing stress and grief as a result of crisis, such as the one at the SANDY HOOK
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL is a challenge, even for the most experienced,
trained professionals. Here are some suggestions on how to begin and what you can
do if your child has been affected and is asking questions.

Under normal circumstances, talking to your child about death can be a heart-
opening experience for both of you; rather than something to avoid. Everyday you
have an opportunity to bring your childʼs attention to the cycles of life all around us.
From the tiniest insect, to a plant, or a fish; everything has a life cycle. Some are very
short cycles; other creatures like birds are longer. Animals and humans, usually even
longer. Everything is born, lives and then dies.

The natural world is a place to start to develop your childʼs understanding of death in the
context of life cycles.(See the book LifeTimes: The beautiful way to explain death to
children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen), Bantam Books, 1983.) to help yourself
begin the conversation with your child in a calm and centered way.
Under unusual or tragic circumstances, we have to go deeper to meet our childʼs
needs and our own. And to be able to answer their questions, correct misconceptions,
ease worries and fears.

When a childʼs life cycle is cut short, we look beyond the physical, to the spiritual, to our
faith, to whatever we believe is sacred and Divine for ways to explain the inexplicable.
What happens after we die is a matter of your faith and your belief system.
For those of us who are confronted with our own uncertainties, referring to world
cultures may provide a way to come to grips with our own fears; learning from others
what they do may provide comforting answers for you and your child. In many places,
death is an integral part of life. Grandparents live in the same house and even die at
home surrounded by loved ones where family members can mourn together and
support one another. Infants and babies sometimes die and although it is out of order of
nature, there is ritual to honor the little life in itʼs entirety. Grief is the opportunity to come
together in praise of the individual who died.

Things For You To Consider

When upset feelings happen, many of us are more likely to not want to talk about them.
But pushing our feelings away is not the best for our child. Even if they donʼt say
anything to us, our children are observant and they will “feel” our feelings, “read” our
facial expressions and body language. In short, by not fully expressing ourselves, we
teach our children to not express themselves in healthy ways. This can cause more
worry for your child rather than protecting them from hurt and emotional pain.
Be mindful of the age of your child. See Guidelines for Childrenʼs Conception of
Death Age and Stage of Understanding:

STAGE 1: Preschool to 5 years old

Death is not permanent and non-reversible; children understand death as
separation; more like a different kind of life. (ex. “How will she get around in heaven
without her wheelchair?”)

STAGE 2: Ages 5 – 9 years old

Death is understood as permanent; itʼs inevitability has not been realized.
Children can “elude death by escaping the clutches of death” (“I can run and hide so he
wonʼt get me!”) Children may think of death as a movie or story character, such as a
Halloween ghost, skeleton, grim reaper or shadow. In the case of a real dangerous
person, such as the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School (ex. “Will another bad
guy come after me?”)

STAGE 3: Ages 9-10 years old

Death is final and inevitable. Youngsters may have a pre- occupation with the
fear of bodily harm. Images of violence more prevalent and accessible from media and
movies.

Be mindful of the level of experience with death.

If your child was directly involved with the Sandy Hook traumatic event, that experience
is powerful, present, charged with emotions and pervades you and your childʼs
everyday life now. Whereas, explaining a distant event from news reports is best done
by answering only those questions your child asks with empathy and caring and at their
level of cognitive development. (See Guidelines for Childrenʼs Conception of Death-
Age and Stage of Understanding)

Be short and simple.

Answering questions with regard to the Sandy Hook tradegy can be done briefly.
Children want reassurance of their safety and security as well as yours.

Be Close.

Common reactions may include: separation anxiety, loss of appetite, fear of a repeat
lethal threat, nightmares. Donʼt expect your child to stray too far without you. Create
outings together or stay home in a peaceful atmosphere, perhaps use the fireplace and
make hot drinks for everyone. Sit together, welcome the quiet, just be with each other.

Be Heartful.

When parents allow themselves to get in touch with their own uncomfortable feelings,
without trying to ignore them or keep themselves hectic and anxious, they model coping
for their child by being able to compose themselves after showing true feelings of grief.
Parents can help themselves by openly calming themselves using soothing music,
lighting a candle, making a cup of tea in front of their child. Being centered, parents can
share more authentically and wisely.

Be Expressive of your beliefs.

When you say grace at meal times, acknowledge the worldview for peace as well as
acknowledging that “peace begins inside me”.

Be Tolerant of othersʼ beliefs

Teach your child not everyone has your familyʼs belief. People from different cultures
and backgrounds have different customs and traditions and thatʼs the way of the world.

Be Aware Children React to Death Differently Than Adults

Often children may not show sadness, but might act out, misbehave or have angry
outbursts. Changes in the patterns of their eating and sleeping. Be afraid to go to sleep
or wake with nightmares.

Be Peaceful.

Use Guided Imagery Relaxation Techniques
Sit with your child in the late afternoon or just before going to sleep, Listen to a guided
imagery recording; itʼs a natural way to turn the volume down on the stress response
and turn on the relaxation response. Children love to use their imagination, a skillful
narration of specific healing images and soothing music can help your childʼs brain
replace fearful ideas with calming ones. The use of guided imagery recordings before
your child goes to sleep is a highly effective way for your child to help himself calm and
settle.

Be Creative.

Create a tangible way to say “good-bye”
Place a flower on a memorial site; make a paper sailboat and send it off to sea, write a
message in a bottle and bury it or throw it in the ocean; write a message place it in a
balloon and sent it up to the sky.

Be Tender.

Remember the loved one. List the qualities of the person who you lost. Scape booking
the positive memories and photos is helpful. Evoking the tenderness of each otherʼs
spirit can be a life restoring event. Grief is gratitude for life; it is our opportunity to honor
the wholeness of the personʼs life regardless of the length.