non-sweetness<\/em>\nof life as it navigates it\u2019s\nworld.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\nIn\nmy work helping anxious children help themselves calm down, I find it\nis their\nperception\nof the event in their lives that causes most distress. They are not\nrealizing \n\nthey\nare the ones who assign meaning to all events.\nHere\u2019s\nan example: Katie explains, \u201cthis\nbad thing happened at school\u2014\neveryone\nkeeps looking at me and saying I look sad, am I ok?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThe\nessential ingredient for tapping into our inner resources is to\nunderstand we always\nhave\na choice about how we label the events. Our own mind can heal or hurt\nus; awareness is the path in to manage our ocean of emotion.\nAwareness is being present without labeling, criticizing, or judging.\n \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThe\nmost common reaction to the good things that happen in life is to try\nto hold on,\nhold\non tighter, making every effort to have that good stay and to wall\nout the bad stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nTry\nas we may, we don\u2019t\nwant anything bad to happen to us.; whatever \u201cbad\u201d\nis!\nAnd-\nif\nthat bad thing does happen, we\u2019ll\nsay: \u201dThis\nis a very bad, horrible, terrible thing!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nRather\nthan, suspending judgement and saying to yourself: \u201cThis\nis interesting…could be bad, could be good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIn\nthe teaching tale, Zen\nShorts: The Farmer<\/em>\u2019<\/em>s\nLuck<\/em>,\nthe story reveals the assumptions\nof\nwhat the neighbors call \u201cbad\nluck\u201d\nor\n\u201cgood\nluck\u201d\nturns\nout to be the opposite. Through various experiences, the farmer\nresists the temptation to agree with his neighbors\u2019\nopinions.\nFor example, his son falls off a horse and breaks his leg, everyone\nsays, that\u2019s\ntoo bad, bad luck! But, in fact, a few days later when the soldiers\ncome to their village to take able-bodied young men off to war, his\nson is passed over because he has a broken leg!<\/p>\n\n\n\n\nCan\nwe be both present to the experiences of our lives while, at the same\ntime, being non-judgmental, accepting and curious?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nCan\nwe learn to see them, be with the experience without trying to push\nit away? Can we allow ourselves to feel difficult feelings, rest in\nit and be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nAnd\nif it is a happy, welcomed event, can you learn that \u201dkissing\njoy\u201d as\nshe flies by is a wonderful way to play with your imagination,\ntapping your inner resources in order to be present, notice, enjoy it\nbut not become attached to it? Kiss it and let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nAnd\nthen can you practice, with this same awareness, to be present, to\nnotice when something seems awful? Watching your feelings of sadness\nwithout getting lost in them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nLike\ngathering, collecting all life experiences, noticing\nthe contrast<\/strong>\nlike the many shades of green in the early Springtime?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Say to yourself: \u201cAs I use all my senses to take note and savor, I am present and open to all the feelings in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThe\npractice of \u201ckissing\njoy\u201d is\nan opportunity to become aware of how you can direct your mind to\nfocus- without judging, without making a strong, negative\nopinion; but\nrather, just noticing and collecting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nMaking\na collecting basket, is a tangible way to practice this idea and\ninternalize it for yourself and your child. Say to yourself, \u201cToday,\nas I am filling my basket with the little things in life\u2014\ngood\nor bad, happy or sad. I am noticing and collecting with awareness,\ngentleness and gratitude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So fill your basket, as you expand your awareness. Say to yourself; \u201c I\u2019m feeling the warm breeze on my face or <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m hearing a song that makes me cry\u201d …<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nImagine\nputting\nit all in your basket for the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThroughout\nyour day, you may want to place in your basket objects like a special\nphotograph or the penny you found on the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the end of your day, the contents can be taken out and reflected upon as a form of awareness practice. Be gentle with yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThen\nyou can begin all over again the next day. Empty out the contents;\nlet go of the previous day to make room for the new, the\nnow,<\/em>\nof today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\nAs\nin the ancient mediative tradition, keep your basket empty. When you\ndo, it becomes a practice of taking in, breathing, watching, and\nrecognizing the every day passing events–like\n\u201dkissing\njoy\u201d\nlightly, not tightly!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nAs\njoy flies by as you\u2019re\non your way<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nGive\nit a kiss and go on with your day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nEmbrace\nthe fullness of all that you feel<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWelcoming\neverything-keep even your keel!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWisdom\nruns deepest, your open heart knows<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nTo\ngather the highs, as well as the lows<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cKissing\njoy\u201d\ninstead\nof holding too tight<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nOffers\nthe lesson: there\u2019s\nno wrong, no right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Dr. Roxanne Daleo Have you ever noticed the way a humming bird darts from one flower to the next, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1800,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\n
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